“What is the magic word?” is a question that we hear quite a lot. It is asked of children all around the world when teaching them good manners. The magic words are, of course, “please” and “thank you.” We know that much, but do we really think about the significance of those phrases?

It seems simple enough, but “thank you’s” are becoming rarer in our everyday lives. I’ve heard it said, “With email and texting, it isn’t really necessary to send a thank-you note or thank someone in person.” This attitude belittles the personal touch of a gesture of gratitude. Getting a handwritten note in the mail is exciting and makes you feel special, and writing one will bring the reader back to the memory you two shared. Plus, it takes a modicum of effort to write a letter and it leaves the reader feeling loved and appreciated.

A person with good manners will never pass up the opportunity to send a well-written thank-you note, and here’s why.

Why should I send a thank-you note?

1. Being a good host/hostess, or picking out a considerate gift, takes time, thought, and money. This knowledge alone should prompt you to write a note to the host or gift-giver. It’s the least you can do, and it’s easy to sit down and scrawl something out that will make the other person feel like their efforts were not in vain.

2. Handwritten notes and letters have been the preferred mode of communication since 3200 BC. Its popularity is in decline since the invention of the keyboard and smartphone, but according to journalist Ann Chemin in her article, “Handwriting vs  Typing,” she states, “Writing has always been seen as expressing our personality… ‘With handwriting we come closer to the intimacy of the author,’ ‘That’s why we are more powerfully moved by the manuscript of a poem by Verlaine than by the same work simply printed in a book. Each person’s hand is different: the gesture is charged with emotion, lending it a special charm.’ ”

Simply put, people get that warm feeling when someone goes out of their way to do something intentional and personal, like handwriting a thank-you note, and why not?

1. It’s actually good for us to be thankful! According to The Cut’s Christian Jarrett, in his article How Expressing Gratitude Might Change Your Brain, “feeling grateful is very good for you. Time and again, studies have shown that performing simple gratitude exercises, like keeping a gratitude diary or writing letters of thanks, can bring a range of benefits, such as feelings of increased well-being and reduced depression, that often linger well after the exercises are finished.” It’s not just for the person you’re thanking, it’s also good for you. Being thankful is one of the easiest ways to be a happier person overall.

When to send one?

Receiving a gift is not the only reason you should send a note. Use this rule to gauge whether or not you should send one. (And if you’re really asking yourself if you should send one, just do it!)

1. Did they get a gift for you? (Or spend money, time, or effort on you?) If so: send a note!

2. Did they invite you to a party at their home or otherwise? Send it!

3. Did they take time to interview you for a position? Go ahead and send!

If you are grateful to them, send them a note to let them know. Saying “thank you” never hurt anyone.

How can one write a thoughtful thank-you note?

1. Start by getting some stationary that you like and feel proud to send. Pick something that represents you, and maybe even something that the receiver would be happy to display.

2. Do it as soon as you think of it. Writing it when it’s fresh on the mind will make it more meaningful and specific. Don’t let tardiness stop you from sending one, though. Better late than never!

3. If you’re writing about a gift, say why you love it and what you will use it for. If you don’t love it, find something nice to comment on, but don’t lie.

4. If you are writing to thank someone for their hospitality as a host or hostess, say something particular about their home, the food, or the memories you shared.

5. If it’s for a friend or relative, don’t be too stiff or formal. Make it personal and interesting for the reader.

6. Finally, end with a loving closer that leaves the reader smiling. “Much love,” “Sincerely,” “Best,” and “Cheers” are all good closers.

If you’re searching for a new, positive habit, this is one that is easy and fun and improves everyone’s lives, even if it’s just a little bit. The worst thing that could happen by sending “too many” thank-you notes is being seen as too polite and well mannered. I’m not sure about you, but that sounds like a problem I would invite with open arms.

Thank you for reading, ladies and gents!