Distance makes the heart grow fonder and apparently feel more comfortable. Over the past week, former Vice President Joe Biden has been accused of making women feel uncomfortable due to his way of connecting with people. Tom was everyone’s friend on MySpace but Uncle Joe is in everyone’s personal space. Will he go the way of MySpace?

Sofie Karasek penned an op-ed detailing the context of a viral photo of herself and Biden after the 2016 Oscars. She described feeling a “sense of shame and belittlement.” She wrote: “I was taken aback. I averted my eyes, hoping my body language could shorten the interaction.”  She concluded: “It was unwelcome, uncomfortable and strange.”

Then there was Lucy Flores, a Democrat who ran for lieutenant governor of Nevada. She wrote in New York Magazine about the time Biden joined her at a rally to help boost voter turnout. "I felt two hands on my shoulders," Flores writes. "I felt him get closer to me from behind. He leaned further in and inhaled my hair... I was embarrassed. I was shocked. I was confused."

In response to the accusations, Biden posted a video on Twitter pledging to be more mindful of people’s personal space. He said: “I’ll always believe governing — and, quite frankly, life, for that matter — is about connecting, about connecting with people.” He concluded: “That won’t change. But I will be more mindful and respectful of people’s personal space.”

Today we find ourselves in a transition, moving away from a neck-hugging world to a Facebook-poking society. A previous generation kissed babies, shook hands, and pinched cheeks. All this was done in an effort to connect, to show a voter that they mattered and their vote was appreciated.

This happened outside of the political arena as well. You hugged necks right after you said, ‘bless your heart.’ The handshake quickly morphed into a hug when someone said, ‘bring it on in here.’ Growing up in the South, I used to go to the bathroom to wash the lipstick off my face. Sometimes I felt uncomfortable but every time I felt valued. Yet today, some go to the bathroom to express on social media how uncomfortable they feel. 

44 percent of adults consider hugging sexual harassment. Instead of bringing it in for a hug, some turn around to grab a selfie. They prefer social media attention instead of getting their neck hugged. Instead of expressing their discomfort privately, they shame individuals publicly. Outside of my grandma’s house, our culture is increasingly becoming more averse to physical contact. As a result, Mr. Biden finds himself in a controversy. 

Should we learn from our mistakes or be destroyed by our mistakes?

In our call-out culture, opinions vary. Richard Wrangham asserts this is how civilization advances. Throughout history, people have used social isolation and pain as a way of keeping the peace and enforcing moral codes. When systems are broken or people do wrong, vigilante justice in the court of public opinion is required.

David Brooks disagrees. He writes: “Even the quest for justice can turn into barbarism if it is not infused with a quality of mercy, an awareness of human frailty and a path to redemption.”

In this call-out culture, are we more concerned with justice for the wronged or the destruction of the wrongdoer? In the Scriptures, Nathan didn’t go before the community; he confronted David personally about his indiscretions (2 Sam. 12). Jesus first talked to the woman at the well before he talked about the woman at the well (Jn. 4). There is a time to call someone out publicly, but not before you try to work things out privately (Matt. 18:15-20). 

When you speak out about the person instead of first speaking to the person, the only thing you want changed is your status. You don’t want to correct misbehavior but lay claim to your 15 minutes of fame.

Today, many believe we are living through a war on women. To a large degree, this is correct.

1 out of every 6 women has been a victim of sexual abuse in her life. 65 percent of women polled said they have experienced street harassment. 81 percent of women have experienced some form of sexual harassment. 51 percent have been sexually touched without their permission. 

When we find ourselves in a war, we cannot get distracted. Distance makes the heart grow fonder but shaming makes the heart grow harder. Hugging and shaming may be permissible in this call-out culture, but it is not beneficial.